Author: Kristine Barberio

mom, wife, daughter, friend, educator, stress baker
#Classroom Community, Child Development, Creating a Community, Education, Teamwork

What we don’t know or understand…

Kristine Barberio

Recently we have been doing a Social Justice Issues unit and have moved into Social Justice Issues Book Clubs.  My topic to plan for the team was Mental Health and Bullying.  I found an amazing anchor text “Dear Bully: 70 Authors Tell Their Story”  by Meghan Kelley Hall and Carrie Jones.  This text is a compilation of short non-fiction stories, poems, and thoughts from famous authors who either have been bullied, were the bullies, and/or watched the bullying.  In our LIVE classes, we have been doing a variety of activities looking at bullying, its impact on mental health, and understanding the mental health issues people face.  To say that our conversations have been powerful would be an understatement.  

What I was not prepared for in my smug, 18th year in Education mindset was one of those moments where I realized how very little we truly know and understand about THIS current generation’s experiences with bullying and mental health.  It all hit me when one student shared a statement in the chat that was immediately echoed by multiple students…

“Every time the notification alarm rings on my phone I am terrified because I don’t know what else someone has said about me.”

I have been unable to get those words out of my head, along with many other topics of conversation and issues that emerged from those conversations.  I was aghast to realize that our children are living in fear of their phone or device because the prevalence of something negative being said was so high.  I told them “You should never be this afraid of anything and if you are living your life this way ask for help from me, parents, school counselor, and let’s get this turned around.”  But, that sentiment, while true, did not even begin to address what those kids had shared in those conversations.  

It was a startling reminder that there is a world that we do not fully know or understand that our kids are living in without the right tools.  Now, what are the right tools?  I don’t have those answers yet – but I am now working on what could be next to help our kids.  I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas to move things forward.  

You see, I pride myself on the relationships I build with my students, with understanding their struggles and challenges, and with providing a strong positive role model who believes in them.  That is something I strive to do and be every day.  However, none of that matters, if I don’t fully understand their experience and what they actually need to thrive in it.  So, all growth begins with reflection and learning…here is what I have discovered so far:

  1. In one of the videos I shared with students the boy who created the video as a response to his own bullying he shared that his dad had said “In my day, bullying ended at 3:30 when you made it home.”  The boy replied “In our world it is 24/7 and you can’t escape it”.  Our kids live in an online environment IN ADDITION to the in-person culture we are so much more familiar with.  This idea that they don’t have a respite or the tools to create one for themselves is a mind blowing concept we need to face.  No child should live in terror of their device and what newest horrors it might bring.
  2. Over and over they repeated that they don’t think the adults will help (most cite multiple experiences of teachers dismissing, minimizing, or ignoring completely bullying and unkind behavior).  They also said, much to my shock, that the well meaning adults who do try to help often make it worse behind the scenes creating a bigger target on their back from the bullies.  There was an overwhelming sense of aloneness in their perspective on unkind and bullying behavior.
  3. They simply had never really considered any real tools they could use to control their own experience with the negativity.  We discussed things like picking your friends carefully, removing negative friends from your life with kindness, deleting social media accounts and/or blocking negative people, blocking the numbers of people who text unkind things, and simply putting away the device and refusing to read it.  It is clear to me that the excellent cyberbullying and bullying curriculums out there are not meeting their needs.  It seems theoretical vs. practical to them.
  4. Many do not feel a sense of authentic self.  Now, this blog is called authentic teaching for a very specific reason.  I learned through years of therapy and work, that the one superpower all of us have is being utterly authentic and truthful to OURSELVES.  In living, working, teaching, parenting, being a friend…AUTHENTICITY gives us the ability to succeed and make a real impact on those around us.  It is ALWAYS when I am not being true to myself that things fall apart.  We discussed at length the need to make sure you feel good about you as the best antidote to the negative environments.  If you love yourself, you simply won’t tolerate environments that tear you down.  I always tell students one of my rules is “I don’t hang out with people who are mean to me or others.”.  I will always be polite and kind to you and I am very forgiving of the bad moments we all have.  But consistent meanness and unkindness, I am not going to be a part of that.  
  5. Mental Health has got to be addressed in a much more significant and accessible way.  There has been a lot of discussion of the mental health crisis that children and teens (and adults) have faced during the Pandemic.  What has NOT been discussed is funding more school counselors, social workers, psychologists, and other mental health support professionals.  What has NOT been discussed is the stigma of mental health support for kids and teens still exists and is the predominate way parents raise their kids.  Every parent wants to believe their child is just going through something “normal” for their age group and dismiss mental health needs like anxiety and depression which affect 1 in 4 Americans as something that “crazy” people have.  There was no doubt in our conversations that mental health and bullying go hand in hand.  All bullies have some form of a mental health need.  Those being bullied are significantly at higher risk for suicide, depression, anxiety, frequent school absences, and resorting to gun or other violence in response to their fear.  If we do not stop acting as though mental health needs are for somebody else’s kids…we will continue to see this crisis in our youth.  If we do not fully FUND AND STAFF our schools with the recommended ratio of mental health and community support staff to students per the recommendations, we will continue to not have an adequate support network for our kids.  

So, now what?  

The steep learning curve I found through these conversations leaves me feeling scared, anxious, and determined to figure out how I can improve as a parent and an educator.  I am well aware of my utter lack of answers…but committed to finding some.  It’s okay that we don’t fully understand or know what our kids are going through if we are brave enough to admit that we DON’T know and understand.  If we are willing to start seeking knowledge, understanding, and being willing to have some tough conversations. 

The very first thing I did after that student comment that shook me, was to talk to my kids on our afternoon walk.  When I told them what we had discussed, each had a distinct reaction that absolutely matched their personalities.  My oldest shrugged and said it had never happened to him and that he just wouldn’t continue in an environment or with friends who acted like this.  My middle child immediately discussed an instagram post of over a year ago that had been met with some comments from buddies that were teasingly unkind.  He clearly had carried those 3 little comments in his heart while acting like it didn’t matter.  My youngest wants to see the good in everyone and she brought up situations as “they were just being funny” or “it wasn’t her it was her friend that pranked me”.  Their responses echoed the conversations I had with my students and made me realize in our hectic day to day lives that maybe I am not stopping to ask them enough or the right questions. 

I also reminded myself that in these powerful conversations there was a group of kids who DID have the tools and WERE able to navigate these rough waters.  Advice they gave each other was:

  • Make your own tight circle and be careful who you let in it
  • If you can’t find nice friends, be comfortable being with yourself and your family
  • Be true to yourself and never let anybody tell you who you are
  • Sometimes you just have to pick different friends and let bad influences go

There were also kids who were navigating different waters like being ignored completely by peers and feeling really alone or feeling that personal situations were more significantly impacting their life than any issues with peers.  

All of this information can help us do a couple of things as we begin to move this conversation forward:

  1. Talk to your own children, your students, and other educators about this issue.
  2. LISTEN and start finding different ways to approach this issue.
  3. THINK about the culture of your classroom – are you one of those teachers letting unkindness be the “norm”?  Here are some previous posts of mine about resetting classroom community. https://authenticteaching.blog/2019/08/02/you-wont-get-the-wows-if-you-dont-know-the-hows/  https://authenticteaching.blog/2019/10/06/beneath-the-iceberg/
  4. ADVOCATE – Educate yourself and then communicate, vote, and implement changes in your own homes and in school.  

We have the power to grow and learn.  We have the power to turn the challenges of this last year into something that moves our nation forward and our educational system forward in a new direction.  We have the ability to make a difference.  The beginning of any new journey or adventure is acknowledging what you DON’T know or understand and seeking knowledge.  After all, isn’t that what education is all about?  

On a separate note – I always feel that when things can seem a bit bleak – a good short term fix is chocolate.  So, if after reading this post – you need a little chocolate pick me up…here is the most delish chocolate banana muffin recipe….Enjoy!   

#Classroom Community, Behavior Management, Class Meeting, Creating a Community, Distance Learning, Education

Get to know them…

Kristine Barberio

Virtual learning, hybrid learning, synchronous/asynchronous, and all the other buzzwords and names about this unprecedented time in American education do not even begin to explain the complete revamping all educators have had to do over this last year. For some, this year has shaken them to their foundation. For others, it has been a renewed perspective and a shot of adrenaline as they were unceremoniously kicked out of any teaching rut they were in. Many have left education to maintain their own personal health, sanity, or both.

What has remained true is that successful teachers build relationships with their students.

My teenage middle school son and I were on a walk the other day (thank goodness for some outdoor time) and I asked him which of his teachers he felt had done the best last year and this year in distance/virtual learning. His answer completely shocked me. The reason why it shocked me is my son’s personality…he is a kid who does not often and freely talk about “touchy feely” stuff. He has the biggest heart and loves deeply, but any big warm fuzzy emotional displays seem to just annoy him. His response was “I think the teacher who has done the best is the one who wants to get to know us. She spends the first 5 minutes of class everyday asking us how we are and what has been happening in our lives.” Jaw. Drop.

It was a stark reminder that while there are a million different ways to approach this crazy time in education, there is one truth that remains unchanged. Students respond to teachers who care about them and build relationships; which is infinitely more challenging in a virtual classroom environment. Now, after I patted myself on the back for asking my students every day for the first five minutes how they are and casually chatting (WHEW…met the middle school boy criteria), I realized that building relationships is something we all can do even at this point in the year. Here are some great ideas from my own classroom and from what my friends and colleagues in education have done:

  • Be authentic – Any relationship that works is based on being authentic. With your students, admit the truth (appropriately) and share the joys and challenges with them authentically.
  • Don’t forget the FUN – Spirit Days, Classroom contests, Fun Friday (every Friday I have a LIVE fun event for any student I teach – we do trivia, escape rooms, we even played Yahtzee virtually), create Tik Tok videos, anything to create a school and classroom culture will build those important memories and relationships our kids need. .
  • Be genuinely excited about learning – Perseverance Rover just landed on the moon and you are excited, Amanda Gorman blew your mind at the Inauguration, or whatever you find amazing SHARE IT WITH YOUR STUDENTS – right now our kids need us to be EXCITED about learning. This is when shifting the lesson plans or pacing guides to find ways to share and celebrate learning is so essential. My daughter’s teacher got her so pumped about the bones of the body (all done virtually) that she was creating songs, making movable finger puppets…of the fingers and generally getting my daughter excited about bones.
  • Open the doors of communication – There are simply too many free and easy to use ways to keep the lines of communication open with your students – Flipgrid – I have one always open where kids can record a video letting me know what is happening, Google or Microsoft form surveys/check ins, email, and my new favorite parent communication tool – Talking Points (this is an app like remind that translates both ways – parent to you and you to parent in dozens of languages. I have found because it is on people’s phone as a text I get a ton of communication and it is super easy for me to respond.)
  • Get Creative – I keep looking for ways to solve problems my students are having in creative and new ways. This year I have done a 100’s Club for students who complete 100% of their work on time each week, Peer Squads where students can meet in small groups virtually and work together, and just recently I reintroduced Genius Hour to motivate students to get their work done and challenge my kids who are needing a push. Enjoy these freebies of those programs! I have seen teachers pretend to be “the Hamburglar” and steal student’s great paragraphs in writing only to be replaced with a candy hamburger. Your kids need to feel genuinely excited to see you – so get creative.
  • Don’t lessen the expectations too far – We have all had to adjust to the amount of work students will actually complete, the kind of work they can do independently, and what barriers students will have to getting their work done. We all understand it would be very different in our “old” pre-pandemic classrooms. But our kids need to know, we believe in them and expect them to achieve. They need to know we still care about their behavior and community interactions. I am still holding virtual class meetings, creating group norms, meeting with students that are struggling virtually, and making sure I let them know that I know and expect that they can do this.
  • Change your mindset – I have seen consistently that educators who have flipped their thinking from the negative, this is so hard, look at what we are missing mindset to a what CAN I do that will work and be successful mindset are doing some amazing things.

All of us need to feel connected right now. Connected to each other even when we are unable to hug, hang out, or comfort each other in person.

Our kids need that connection – even surly teenagers who might act like they don’t care. So, make today a renewed commitment for the end of this school year (YEP – it IS going to end, we ARE going to be back in school someday like it used to be) that you are going to build relationships with your students. Because, after this is all over and our kids remember this time where the world stopped spinning – will they remember the lesson you taught, the test you gave, or the plans you made or will they remember that you got to know them?

Make that decision today…our kids need YOU!

Leadership, Teamwork, Wellness

Just ask…

Kristine Barberio

After a hiatus where I felt overwhelmed by a new job, 2020, and somehow uninspired, I am relaunching Authentic Teaching. Authentic Teaching began as a way to share my thoughts, experiences, recipes (yep, recipes…odd combo, I know), and advice. With all of the chaos of our world in 2020 and with personally moving in a new direction, I found I didn’t know what I wanted to say anymore. I wasn’t sure what my voice was anymore. So, I took some time to figure out what I wanted to say.

Shortly before the Inauguration, I had seen a CBS News piece about Amanda Gorman, Youth Poet Laureate and her poem “The Miracle of Morning”. I was so inspired by her words encouraging us to look for the beauty around us that I created a set of lessons in Nearpod called “Gratitude in Poetry” for my students on their first week back. I am providing a free download for you of this set of lessons. Then, she performed her breathtaking poem, The Hill We Climb, at the Inauguration and it reminded me of what this blog is about for me “There is light only if we are brave enough to see it, if only we are brave enough to be it”. Years ago, I read a book by Robert Fulghum and found within it a story that set my intention for my life. The story describes a man describing the meaning of life as reflecting light into the darkest corners of the world. Reflecting the light of a higher power or of basic human kindness is my calling, my voice, my purpose.

As these thoughts were circling through my brain, my 50th Birthday happened! I had low expectations because it was on a Tuesday, in the middle of a global pandemic. The showering of love, kindness, and pure joy my friends and family covered me in took my breath away. They reflected the light back to me and made me realize that flawed, and damaged as I am – I have reflected light in their lives even when I didn’t know it.

So, that led me to my first post back in awhile – to reflect some light. Here it goes:

Educators, the end of the school year and the start of this one, have been unbelievable. We have been celebrated, demonized, loved, and dismissed. We have had to do what educators do in the worst of times – figure it out! We have leaned on each other, cried, and picked the pieces back up to try again tomorrow.

With all the noise around us about whether school should resume in person and if so, how…one thought keeps going through my mind. As I read the nasty comments on social media; see my friends cry at the fear and reality of what is being asked of us; and listen to politicians, the CDC, and TV pundits debate what should happen, I kept thinking one thought….

Just ask.

Just ask us what we need to keep working miracles. Just ask us what we need to feel safe in our buildings. Just ask us what we want from our communities, our school boards, our parents.

Just ask us.

More than anything, I think educators feel like this pandemic has ripped off a bandaid and shared some dirty secrets about education in America. Teachers are viewed as child care providers. Teachers are disposable and replaceable. Teachers are not human trying to survive this pandemic like everybody else. When I hear educators are being demonized for being “seen” at Target or the grocery store as proof they are not as scared as they claim to be, it makes me weep.

We, the teachers, support staff, and administrators that every day serve America’s children, have watched for years as funding is cut, laws are shifted, and respect is diminished. The Pandemic, just made us realize how very tragic and serious it had become.

So, here is my attempt to reflect some light into this darkness.

Just ask.

Ask us and I promise you we are reasonable, willing, and able to find a solution.

If there is anything that 2020 taught us, it is that we have stopped listening to each other. We have stopped asking each other what we need. We have stopped CARING about what each person needs. This lack of care nearly ripped this country in two and then, a young girl said “There is light if only we’re brave enough to see it, if only we’re brave enough to be it.”

So, after reading this, take a deep breath and remind yourself to look for the light and to be the light. Then, look around you and try to figure out what the people you interact with might need to make their world, and ours better.

Just. Ask.

#Classroom Community, Creating a Community, Distance Learning, Education, Self Care, Wellness

Make your own headline

Kristine Barberio

Stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, scared, disillusioned, divided…I have seen or heard so many people share these emotions since school began. There is no doubt that the start of this school year has put educators, students, and parents in a situation that offers no easy answers. There is argument about the school model (full time, hybrid, distance learning), the amount of work assigned (too much, too little), the way teachers present the material, the live on-line learning model and platform, the parent’s role in supporting their child’s learning at home, and on and on and on.

All of this has made too many of us turn on each other. Every group is critical of the intentions, performance, expectations, and style of the other. It is enough to make all of us throw up our hands and admit defeat. This is simply not working.

Then, you look up from your frustration to see a nation in utter chaos and it seems hopeless.

Each one of us has a choice in this moment. A choice to be part of the solution instead of adding to the problem. Each one of us has a choice to make our own headlines.

(original article link from Aleteia https://www.google.com/amp/s/aleteia.org/2020/06/29/87-year-old-man-rewrites-news-headlines-for-2020-and-inspires-us-all/amp/ )

I read this on social media a few weeks ago and the thought has been swirling around my brain – we ALL need to make our own headlines – every day, in every way that we can. Here are the headlines I want all of us to see right now!

  • September is for learning how we learn together – give it time… we will all get there.
  • Teachers give their best and learn from their challenges – be their biggest supporters.
  • Parents give their kids tools to be successful and overcome challenges.
  • School is teachers teaching and students learning – not a physical place or a specific format.
  • Be your best, give yourself grace, and make it work.
  • School becomes fun when we build a community together.
  • Everybody is going through a struggle you know nothing about…be KIND always.

What headlines have you been making over the last week? Negative, destructive, and divisive ones or positive, supportive, and encouraging ones? It is the time for all of us to choose our own daily headlines and stay focused on making the 2020/2021 school year great. Yes, we can make this year work, if we get out of our negative, divisive, way of thinking and move forward with making it the best it can be….wherever, however, and whatever happens. Choose to write daily headlines that make your life better and the lives of the people around you better. That is the real power each one of us has to make this year a good school year for our children, our educators, and ourselves….no matter what.

# Professional Development, Creating a Community, Distance Learning, Education, Self Care, Wellness

Being a Teachrent…

Kristine Barberio

All of us in the world juggle many different hats. Educators are no different…we juggle our job, our relationships, our responsibilities, our interests and joys, and if we are parents, our own children. During this time of Distance or Hybrid Learning, so full of fears, questions, challenges, and joys (yes there are joys); educators are stuck in this challenging space between being Teachers and Parents. So, I made up a new word – Teachrent…sounded better than Pareacher to me…feel free to comment.

A teachrent is an educator who has two sets of “children”, their school kids and their own children. This dual role is so challenging to manage. Now, all working parents feel this push between their own job responsibilities and their children. But, for an educator it is especially hard. There is a constant ebb and flow of feeling like you are giving one group of your “kids” more of your time and energy than the other. During remote learning, it is even more challenging feeling like you have your own children at home with you who need you AND your school kids at their homes who need you. This can feel utterly overwhelming. Then, you add on the abject fear of bringing home a deadly disease and add those onto your many responsibilities, and you have the Teachrent…. which often feels like an utterly impossible role.

So – what is a Teachrent to do?? Here are some helpful suggestions from my own successes AND failures.

  1. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST – I know…I can hear many of you laughing (or crying) right now at the absurdity of that statement. But, without a doubt, self-care is your best weapon. Sleep, rest, eating well, exercising, taking care of your mental and physical health needs…essential. Check out this post from last year that addresses this: https://authenticteaching.blog/2019/08/25/preaching-and-trying-to-practice/
  2. Ask for and use the help around you – We are so blessed to have a tribe of people willing to support our children. My secret weapon in distance learning – the grandparents! If you don’t have seniors in your life able to support, connect with a local seniors home, church members, retired teachers, etc. Seniors are often “stuck” at home during this time and with the magic of about a dozen different live video chat options, they can support your children with their schoolwork. Regardless of their physical location, they can check in daily with your personal children to support. We share our emails from the teacher, give access to the student platforms, and let them work directly with helping our kids. What a gift! Beyond this, we have long term close family friends willing to help with check ins and support. This is easier if we all work together.
  3. Play to your strengths – The biggest mistake I see educators making PERIOD during distance learning is to try to do things to match a specific district or admin. direction or expectation. The BEST thing you can do for yourself is make your on line and in person (if your district is in a hybrid model) work for YOU! If your students and parents are happy and engaged, that is success for everyone. Really take some time to reflect on what would a successful classroom look like in THIS weird time and make that classroom happen. You have to give up any preconceived ideas of what your kids “should” be doing and/or how you have always done it…but it you visualize what is authentic to you in THIS kind of school you will make it happen.
  4. Set some boundaries – Distance Learning is just too easy to be “live” as a teacher 24 hours a day. Make rules for yourself of when you are going to work and when you are going to be a parent (or spouse, daughter, etc.). The work is NOT going anywhere, but your children are growing every day. The GIFT of distance learning for a parent is unprecedented time with your children. Treasure and honor that gift by setting boundaries and accepting what you CAN do in the time you have set aside to work (even if it isn’t perfect).
  5. Foster a positive mindset – This is so unbelievably hard in this time. Watch the news, read social media, listen to the comments people are making about teachers – that is enough to shake the strongest of faith. So, purposefully and intentionally look for the good AND be the good. https://authenticteaching.blog/2020/07/09/angels-among-us/
  6. Work as a team – What teacher do you know who is not a control freak? It is just too easy to want it “your” way and not work as a unit. YOUR LIFE WILL BE BETTER IF YOU WORK AS A TEAM AND FOSTER RELATIONSHIPS. https://authenticteaching.blog/2019/08/06/banana-bread-bribery/
  7. Have Fun! – I just heard the gasps…how in the world can this? this…be fun? Well – like anything else, fun is something we CHOOSE. EVEN if this insane time, choose to have fun with your colleagues, your students, your children, your families…because FUN makes this all better. Here are some great ideas: https://www.hollyclark.org/2020/04/21/virtual-learning-ideas/ https://jakemiller.net/ways-to-keep-remote-learning-fun-for-students/
  8. Release control and take control – Ultimately, everything in our life is on some level out of our control…except our response to it. Give yourself the gift of letting go of trying to control it all and take control of your response.
  9. Allow yourself and both sets of your kids to REST – Sometimes, life can be simplified, by just accepting that what IS possible may not meet our expectations or vision. REST is essential for all of us, so allow some down time, lessen the load, or just give yourself a break so that you can do what is possible. https://authenticteaching.blog/2020/03/09/no-rest-for-the-weary/
  10. Use the tools available – We are living in an unprecedented time of ACCESS via technology tools. USE THEM! Feel unsure – go find that teacher in your school who gets how to use these, watch some videos, and/or experiment with them.
  • EdPuzzle – recording your lessons…kids not watching them? Create an EdPuzzle that puts in questions they have to answer before continuing in the video. This FREE program aligns with almost every platform (Google Classroom, Microsoft TEAMS, CANVAS, etc.)
  • Nearpod – A spectacular way to have kids in a live distance class sharing their thoughts. They have FREE Nearpods premade or you can make your own easily on so many topics. Now with new features including an “EdPuzzle” like feature, collaborations with Flocabulary, and so much more.
  • Flipgrid – Wonderful for younger students especially to share their hand written work and explain their thinking. This tool allows video responses of up to 10 minutes with an easy click of a button.
  • Actively Learn – fantastic high interest and timely reading passages in every genre, structure by genre, unit, grade level, and/or lexile level.
  • What are your favorites? Comment below to add on to the list.

YOU…are a TEACHRENT. That is a wonderful gift and tremendous responsibility. Allow yourself the grace to do this job…with the best you have at that time. All you are capable of being, is what you know how to do right now…and THAT, that is enough. You are enough!

# Professional Development, Distance Learning, Education, Self Care, Uncategorized, Wellness

Our Greatest Fear

Kristine Barberio

Fear…the silent force lurking underneath so many of our choices, actions, and reactions. Right now, is a time of tremendous fear as we watch our nation grapple with so many issues. As we begin the 2020/2021 school year, I don’t think I have EVER seen a time of such tremendous fear regarding the return to school. Fear that we will go back, won’t go back, will go back part time, will make educators return, on and on and on….

Personally, it is so easy to be demoralized as an educator. In the Spring, educators were hailed as heroes worth million of dollars for educating kids. Now, they are perceived as whiners unwilling to return to work. The message has been sent at every level that educators are expendable. Schools place the blame squarely on the shoulders of educators for why they are moving to remote learning.

Some educators feel total frustration with trying to educate in a distance learning model. Some educators are terrified to be in person instruction. Some know that they will not be able to maintain the safety environment expected and that they will be held accountable for a system that is impossible to maintain without resources, support, and frankly, perfect children (which don’t exist).

We educators begin to wonder why I am doing this? Am I making any difference? Why do people refuse to treat me as a skilled professional deserving of respect for my expertise? Why are we expendable? What about my own family?

I was listening to the Michelle Obama podcast on Spotify (highly recommended) and I had an epiphany to my own fears that made me reframe my thinking and get ready to wade back into battle for myself, my family, my students, and the educational process as a whole. Here are the truths I discovered:

(1) YOU – educator, bus driver, assistant, cafeteria – you probably have been directly responsible for changing and possibly saving the life of a child. I often discount the impact I have made on the lives of my students. I brush off the compliments out of habit of downplaying myself. But, this impact is a gift! A gift that I need to marvel at for its wonder. Me…in all my messiness…has made a difference. You have made a difference and that matters.

(2) We not only have the right to speak up…we have the obligation to speak up for what is right. As a group, educators are capable of changing the conversation of return to school, safety measures, funding for schools, lessons we can learn from distance learning about what is broken in schools and what we want to see happen.

(3) Each of us has the power to decide what is true, what is right for ourselves. Being a teacher can often feel like we are on a hamster wheel running in circles with no change. We have choices…even when we don’t see them. Many teachers have left the profession rather than put their families at risk and are tutoring, moving into other fields, or allow themselves to put their focus back on their family. Whatever we choose, we have the RIGHT to choose it. Fears…financial, emotional, or peer pressure can make us feel like there is not a choice. But there is ALWAYS a choice we can make to be authentically true to ourselves if we just take a step forward out of fear.

As we enter this time in education that is wrought with fear…take a breath and remind yourself that YOU are powerful beyond measure. YOU are capable of anything you set your mind to. After all, you wrangle a group of 20, 30 kids into sitting still and learning on a regular basis. You’ve GOT this!

So – if you are not sure you have the courage to face your fear…here are some pretty inspirational stories of facing fear to get you motivated.

An educator advocates for a district to move to remote learning with a board unwilling to even listen to concerns. Her emotional response lights a fire for others – video at the bottom of notes from the chalkboard blog post. http://notesfromthechalkboard.com/2020/08/05/covid-fears-of-union-county-educators-fall-on-deaf-ears-at-board-meeting/

Inspirational Nike commercial – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA4dDs0T7sM

Facing Fear video – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnrogLw6SOQ

Character Education, Distance Learning, Education, Self Care, Wellness

Angels among us

Kristine Barberio

In my lifetime, if ever there was a time that seemed hopeless, we are living in it. Pandemic, facing the ugly reality of systemic racism in our nation, economic crisis, corrupt leadership, people turning on other people over big and small issues, uncertainty for our children, ourselves, our future…these and the regular every day struggles we all face contribute to a time where hopelessness can run rampant. How do we look at a time like this and find hope that there can and will be something better?

I have realized recently through a string of “angel meetings” that we need to look for the angels among us and BECOME the angels among us.

You see, while this time we are in seems so dark, America and our world has faced darkness much greater than this before. We have seen the worst of humanity and risen from the ashes. In each of these dark times, HOPE comes through us…through angels known and unknown who provide the light. Elie Wiesel, Holocaust survivor, author, and leader, is an example of the power of angels. He describes in Night how people made a difference in his darkest hour and he found hope. Watch this video that speaks to light right now in our world. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keLT6bp7wok

Recently, I had someone who I have never met in person, advocate for me. This person went above and beyond to tell me that I had value and importance and he DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ME. I realized that he was an angel in my life…a bringer of hope…and he may never even know it.

On social media recently, a post was shared by a woman in deep despair over the state of our nation. She asked how she could keep hope up in the face of the tidal wave negativity, arguing, and lack of basic human values. I responded and in the course of answering, a story of my grandmother emerged surprising me with its lesson.

My grandmother, Grace, was the most remarkable human I have ever met. Kind, hilarious, smart, and someone who rose beyond her times with no explanation as to why. Born the daughter of a wealthy rice farmer on the bayous of Louisiana in turn of the century America, she was a product of a segregated and highly racist time. Over and over, Grace, defied this upbringing to reach out to others and treat each person as a child of God. In the early 1970’s, in rural Arkansas, Grace was the local Methodist minister’s wife. She discovered that a family from Vietnam, refugees of the war, had moved into their tiny town. They were not welcomed. Except by Grace…who in her country folk, no nonsense way, took them in as her “family” and did all she knew how to do to help them survive and thrive. Our family knows this story and Lam’s family knows this story…but this tale is not in any history book or known and YET…she was an angel for that family and an example for her own. The world was BETTER because of her actions and kindness.

This is the embodiment of hope in times of darkness. Can you imagine the fear and isolation this family felt fleeing their home in danger of death to land in a foreign world where they were not wanted? My grandmother must have seemed like a little bright spot of hope in the darkest night.

So now the question becomes, are you willing to be an angel for someone else?

Years ago, I became obsessed with an author, Robert Fulghum, who had written a bestseller called All I ever needed to know I learned in Kindergarten (which is still a phenomenal book and would be a powerful read in these times). In one of his other books, It was on fire when I lay down on it he wrote a story about the meaning of life that forever altered the course of my life. Here is an excerpt from http://hackingchristianity.net/2013/07/the-meaning-of-life.html

A story is told by Robert Fulghum, a Unitarian minister, about a seminar he once attended in Greece.

On the last day of the conference, the discussion leader walked over to the bright light of an open window and looked out. Then he asked if there were any questions.

Fulghum laughingly asked him what was the meaning of life. Everyone in attendance laughed and stirred to leave. However, the leader held up his hand to ask for silence and then responded “I will answer your question.”

He took his wallet out of his pocket and removed a small round mirror about the size of a quarter. Then he explained:

When I was a small child during World War II, we were very poor and we lived in a remote village. One day on the road, I found the broken pieces of a mirror. A German motorcycle had been wrecked in that place. I tried to find all the pieces and put them together, but it was not possible, so I kept the largest piece. This one. And by scratching it on a stone, I made it round.

I began to play with it as a toy and became fascinated by the fact that I could reflect light into dark places where the sun could never shine. It became a game for me to get light into the most inaccessible places that I could find. I kept the little mirror, and as I grew up, I would take it out at idle moments and continue the challenge of the game.

As I became a man, I grew to understand that this was not just a child’s game, but a metaphor of what I could do with my life. I came to understand that I am not the light or the source of the light. But light – be it truth or understanding or knowledge – is there, and it will only shine in many dark places if I reflect it.

I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not know. Nevertheless, with what I have, I can reflect light into the dark places of this world – into the dark places of human hearts – and change some things in some people. Perhaps others seeing it happen will do likewise. This is what I am about. This is the meaning of my life.

Right now…we must reflect the light. We must do our part to reflect that light into the darkest corners of our world. So, I leave you with 3 thoughts:

1. Are your actions reflecting light and bringing hope?

2. Are you looking for the angels around you with the same focus as you look for the darkness?

3. Are you being an angel in your world?

All of us…all of us…need to make this time about spreading light. You’ve got a job to do…so strap on your wings.

Character Education, Self Care, Wellness

The price of goodness

Kristine Barberio

A friend of mine just tried acupuncture and it led to a group conversation about the practice. Acupuncture and eastern medicine is based on the concept of balance – balancing hot and cold, yin and yang, strong and weak. We discussed the science behind this concept and my friend said “Science is all about balance.” You know Newton’s law number….ummmm….anyways…for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

In these tumultuous times and in LIFE, there is always a result or consequence to our actions. This is a message I seek to teach my own children and my students while desperately trying to remember it for myself. You know, the whole do as I say not as I always do concept!

Sometimes is seems that in spite of our goal to put goodness into the world, evil/negativity/bad wins. It seems that our leaders, people without good intent, selfishness rules the day. That can be disheartening and demoralizing. It can lead us to want to give up and not pay the price of goodness. You see, goodness, doing what is right… costs us. How junky is that?

What is the cost of goodness? Well it depends on the act of goodness. We wear a mask in public – it can embarrass us, frustrate us, make us feel trapped, make us feel like we can’t breathe, or that we just don’t want to breathe our own stinky coffee breath. Not a huge price to pay particularly. Click here for more details on the importance of wearing masks. We can stand up to injustice – it can cost us friends, family, jobs, and more. A much heavier price to pay. On the flip side, not demonstrating goodness has a cost. We refuse to learn from somebody else’s perspective and stick to our own point of view – it can cause friendship/family loss, anger, resentment, and isolation. So – it can seem like there isn’t any way to win. Why is there a cost to goodness that can be equivalent to the cost of not doing what is kind, admirable, loving, selfless, thoughtful, or noble?

Why? Because everything in nature, science, faith – seeks balance. Newton was right…for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. But Newton didn’t take that concept far enough with this one principle. You see each time there is an action – it MOVES the opposite and equal reaction somewhere. If I am moving a rock up a mountain – every time I push…gravity pushes back. But as I keep PUSHING – I inch my way up the mountain…defeating gravity ultimately by reaching the top.

Goodness is like this – there is always a force pushing against our attempts at goodness in the world. Those forces can wear us down if we do not acknowledge the cost, accept the cost, and continue to promote goodness IN SPITE OF THE COST. The only way you get to the top of the mountain, is by continuing uphill AGAINST the pull. Against the cost…

So, what does this have to do with educators? With us as people? Well – I think it comes down to the willingness to pay the price of goodness to move ourselves, our students, our families, and our world forward. Educators have this pivotal role in teaching children, tomorrow’s leaders, about the COST of goodness. It is naive to think telling a child “Be good!” solves the problems in their world. Well – what happens when I am nice to the unpopular kid and then I become unpopular (cost)? What happens when I tell the truth about doing the wrong thing and get a consequence for that (cost)? What happens when I give it 100% and still fail the test (cost)?

We must educate our youth on the price of goodness so that they might be willing to PAY THE COST. That they might have the will, the desire, the motivation, the perseverance, to KEEP GOING in the face of adversity based on their innate desire to do good in the world. Some kids enter our rooms already defeated by the harsh worlds they live in and we have to teach them goodness is worth the price. Some kids enter our rooms unsure of what it looks like to find their innate goodness and we must educate them on the cost and rewards of living up to their goodness potential. Some kids enter our rooms aware of the cost and ready, willing, and able to pay it and we must foster a community that celebrates that spirit.

The only way we can do that is by choosing to inject goodness into every action small and large in our world. To make goodness our guiding principle in every action we take. To use goodness to counteract or fix our own human flaws and foibles. To wield goodness as the weapon that can help move us to a better place.

Here are some guiding principles that may help us on our journey:

  1. Seek to understand and to learn.
  2. Think of others before ourselves.
  3. Be resilient and courageous.
  4. Use your words intentionally and thoughtfully.
  5. Stay curious.

I get so tired of paying the price for the times I purposefully seek to do what is right. It hurts, wears me down, and makes me want to stop. I get it…that price…too high at times. I am reminding myself and all of us as educators, parents, teachers, and members of the human family to find a little more change in your pockets to pay the price of goodness. Because ultimately, the reward is looking out from the top of the mountain at the beauty we have helped create with our efforts.

written with contribution from Alexandra Keilen, @aktechteacher

Character Education, Child Development, diverse learning, Education

Let’s Keep Talking

Kristine Barberio

My last post was about my struggle to know what to say in the tumultuous times our nation is going through. As I worked through that issue and found ways to spread kindness, respect, and empathy…I realized the power of talking. There are some really tough conversations going on in America today…AND THEY ARE ESSENTIAL. We have spent a long time struggling to discuss tough issues and it has made us separate to our corners, pointing fingers, and refusing to compromise. As we look at our children and the world we want them to inherit (in not very long), THAT is not my dream for them. Let’s find ways to keep talking to create a better world for our kids and students to move into.

I have been a part of a couple of conversations this last week that highlight the need for these conversations. The first is with a group of friends who are always in each other’s corners. This group has held each other up through personal, work, and a variety of other struggles. We are super diverse and different but always supportive. As we discussed the protests, I saw the unique perspective of the police officers and their spouses. These conversations allowed us to all learn from each other the challenges, fears, and commonalities that exist in a world altering issue like systemic racism. We listened to each other, learned from each other, and still loved each other even if our viewpoints were not exactly alike.

The next conversation took me utterly by surprise. I was at Target the day after our big 5th grade end of year all day event. I was end of year teacher tired…which means utterly exhausted. I was at the register with a relatively new employee that I think is super nice and fast (always a plus)…who also happened to be an African American young man. I began asking him how his day was, how busy it was…babbling his ear off like usual. Then, I moved into discussing masks and how it seemed more people had them on this week which surprised me as so many people are refusing to follow social distancing state guidelines. Out of this, and I am not sure how, we began discussing the protests. He said he felt like these protests felt different and hoped it would bring real change. I told him (while crying just to amp up the embarrassment level) that for me the difference was when George Floyd called out for his mother. I felt like that moment crossed all boundaries and made EVERY mother who heard it understand our common humanity. It made me want to reach out and be there for him. I explained that I thought many mamas had felt the same way. I then apologized both for crying and going on and on, told him I was an exhausted teacher, and he looked at me and smiled. He said his mom is a teacher and he totally understood. As I went to leave, I turned and said “I hope you have a great day and sorry again…” He looked at me and quietly said “This conversation has been the highlight of my day.” Sobbing…I said “mine, too.”

Both of these examples made me feel uncomfortable, scared, worried of offending others, unsure of what was right to say, and left me feeling that I was both helping to spread and gaining understanding. I am sure the other people in these conversations felt some of the same feelings. But discomfort aside, we decided to keep talking. I have seen many articles that discuss the absolute REQUIREMENT that educators lead the way in opening these challenging conversations and begin helping our students change the world and learn from our mistakes. As a parent, there is the same requirement, to educate your kids on the tough issues…the ones without a simple solution. As educators, let us lead the way in fostering conversations that encourage the development of disagreeing without arguing and compromising without criticizing. The whole wide world may just depend on our ability to keep talking.

Here is a great set of steps from https://www.google.com/amp/s/brandyouinc.org/2013/06/01/5-steps-to-prepare-for-a-crucial-conversation/amp/

Here are some resources and examples of some powerful tools to use for yourself, with your students, and/or with your own family. Please add some of your own in the comment area:

For adults:

Resources to support children as an educator and/or parent: