Category: Self Care

#Classroom Community, Creating a Community, Distance Learning, Education, Self Care, Wellness

Make your own headline

Kristine Barberio

Stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, scared, disillusioned, divided…I have seen or heard so many people share these emotions since school began. There is no doubt that the start of this school year has put educators, students, and parents in a situation that offers no easy answers. There is argument about the school model (full time, hybrid, distance learning), the amount of work assigned (too much, too little), the way teachers present the material, the live on-line learning model and platform, the parent’s role in supporting their child’s learning at home, and on and on and on.

All of this has made too many of us turn on each other. Every group is critical of the intentions, performance, expectations, and style of the other. It is enough to make all of us throw up our hands and admit defeat. This is simply not working.

Then, you look up from your frustration to see a nation in utter chaos and it seems hopeless.

Each one of us has a choice in this moment. A choice to be part of the solution instead of adding to the problem. Each one of us has a choice to make our own headlines.

(original article link from Aleteia https://www.google.com/amp/s/aleteia.org/2020/06/29/87-year-old-man-rewrites-news-headlines-for-2020-and-inspires-us-all/amp/ )

I read this on social media a few weeks ago and the thought has been swirling around my brain – we ALL need to make our own headlines – every day, in every way that we can. Here are the headlines I want all of us to see right now!

  • September is for learning how we learn together – give it time… we will all get there.
  • Teachers give their best and learn from their challenges – be their biggest supporters.
  • Parents give their kids tools to be successful and overcome challenges.
  • School is teachers teaching and students learning – not a physical place or a specific format.
  • Be your best, give yourself grace, and make it work.
  • School becomes fun when we build a community together.
  • Everybody is going through a struggle you know nothing about…be KIND always.

What headlines have you been making over the last week? Negative, destructive, and divisive ones or positive, supportive, and encouraging ones? It is the time for all of us to choose our own daily headlines and stay focused on making the 2020/2021 school year great. Yes, we can make this year work, if we get out of our negative, divisive, way of thinking and move forward with making it the best it can be….wherever, however, and whatever happens. Choose to write daily headlines that make your life better and the lives of the people around you better. That is the real power each one of us has to make this year a good school year for our children, our educators, and ourselves….no matter what.

# Professional Development, Creating a Community, Distance Learning, Education, Self Care, Wellness

Being a Teachrent…

Kristine Barberio

All of us in the world juggle many different hats. Educators are no different…we juggle our job, our relationships, our responsibilities, our interests and joys, and if we are parents, our own children. During this time of Distance or Hybrid Learning, so full of fears, questions, challenges, and joys (yes there are joys); educators are stuck in this challenging space between being Teachers and Parents. So, I made up a new word – Teachrent…sounded better than Pareacher to me…feel free to comment.

A teachrent is an educator who has two sets of “children”, their school kids and their own children. This dual role is so challenging to manage. Now, all working parents feel this push between their own job responsibilities and their children. But, for an educator it is especially hard. There is a constant ebb and flow of feeling like you are giving one group of your “kids” more of your time and energy than the other. During remote learning, it is even more challenging feeling like you have your own children at home with you who need you AND your school kids at their homes who need you. This can feel utterly overwhelming. Then, you add on the abject fear of bringing home a deadly disease and add those onto your many responsibilities, and you have the Teachrent…. which often feels like an utterly impossible role.

So – what is a Teachrent to do?? Here are some helpful suggestions from my own successes AND failures.

  1. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF FIRST – I know…I can hear many of you laughing (or crying) right now at the absurdity of that statement. But, without a doubt, self-care is your best weapon. Sleep, rest, eating well, exercising, taking care of your mental and physical health needs…essential. Check out this post from last year that addresses this: https://authenticteaching.blog/2019/08/25/preaching-and-trying-to-practice/
  2. Ask for and use the help around you – We are so blessed to have a tribe of people willing to support our children. My secret weapon in distance learning – the grandparents! If you don’t have seniors in your life able to support, connect with a local seniors home, church members, retired teachers, etc. Seniors are often “stuck” at home during this time and with the magic of about a dozen different live video chat options, they can support your children with their schoolwork. Regardless of their physical location, they can check in daily with your personal children to support. We share our emails from the teacher, give access to the student platforms, and let them work directly with helping our kids. What a gift! Beyond this, we have long term close family friends willing to help with check ins and support. This is easier if we all work together.
  3. Play to your strengths – The biggest mistake I see educators making PERIOD during distance learning is to try to do things to match a specific district or admin. direction or expectation. The BEST thing you can do for yourself is make your on line and in person (if your district is in a hybrid model) work for YOU! If your students and parents are happy and engaged, that is success for everyone. Really take some time to reflect on what would a successful classroom look like in THIS weird time and make that classroom happen. You have to give up any preconceived ideas of what your kids “should” be doing and/or how you have always done it…but it you visualize what is authentic to you in THIS kind of school you will make it happen.
  4. Set some boundaries – Distance Learning is just too easy to be “live” as a teacher 24 hours a day. Make rules for yourself of when you are going to work and when you are going to be a parent (or spouse, daughter, etc.). The work is NOT going anywhere, but your children are growing every day. The GIFT of distance learning for a parent is unprecedented time with your children. Treasure and honor that gift by setting boundaries and accepting what you CAN do in the time you have set aside to work (even if it isn’t perfect).
  5. Foster a positive mindset – This is so unbelievably hard in this time. Watch the news, read social media, listen to the comments people are making about teachers – that is enough to shake the strongest of faith. So, purposefully and intentionally look for the good AND be the good. https://authenticteaching.blog/2020/07/09/angels-among-us/
  6. Work as a team – What teacher do you know who is not a control freak? It is just too easy to want it “your” way and not work as a unit. YOUR LIFE WILL BE BETTER IF YOU WORK AS A TEAM AND FOSTER RELATIONSHIPS. https://authenticteaching.blog/2019/08/06/banana-bread-bribery/
  7. Have Fun! – I just heard the gasps…how in the world can this? this…be fun? Well – like anything else, fun is something we CHOOSE. EVEN if this insane time, choose to have fun with your colleagues, your students, your children, your families…because FUN makes this all better. Here are some great ideas: https://www.hollyclark.org/2020/04/21/virtual-learning-ideas/ https://jakemiller.net/ways-to-keep-remote-learning-fun-for-students/
  8. Release control and take control – Ultimately, everything in our life is on some level out of our control…except our response to it. Give yourself the gift of letting go of trying to control it all and take control of your response.
  9. Allow yourself and both sets of your kids to REST – Sometimes, life can be simplified, by just accepting that what IS possible may not meet our expectations or vision. REST is essential for all of us, so allow some down time, lessen the load, or just give yourself a break so that you can do what is possible. https://authenticteaching.blog/2020/03/09/no-rest-for-the-weary/
  10. Use the tools available – We are living in an unprecedented time of ACCESS via technology tools. USE THEM! Feel unsure – go find that teacher in your school who gets how to use these, watch some videos, and/or experiment with them.
  • EdPuzzle – recording your lessons…kids not watching them? Create an EdPuzzle that puts in questions they have to answer before continuing in the video. This FREE program aligns with almost every platform (Google Classroom, Microsoft TEAMS, CANVAS, etc.)
  • Nearpod – A spectacular way to have kids in a live distance class sharing their thoughts. They have FREE Nearpods premade or you can make your own easily on so many topics. Now with new features including an “EdPuzzle” like feature, collaborations with Flocabulary, and so much more.
  • Flipgrid – Wonderful for younger students especially to share their hand written work and explain their thinking. This tool allows video responses of up to 10 minutes with an easy click of a button.
  • Actively Learn – fantastic high interest and timely reading passages in every genre, structure by genre, unit, grade level, and/or lexile level.
  • What are your favorites? Comment below to add on to the list.

YOU…are a TEACHRENT. That is a wonderful gift and tremendous responsibility. Allow yourself the grace to do this job…with the best you have at that time. All you are capable of being, is what you know how to do right now…and THAT, that is enough. You are enough!

# Professional Development, Distance Learning, Education, Self Care, Uncategorized, Wellness

Our Greatest Fear

Kristine Barberio

Fear…the silent force lurking underneath so many of our choices, actions, and reactions. Right now, is a time of tremendous fear as we watch our nation grapple with so many issues. As we begin the 2020/2021 school year, I don’t think I have EVER seen a time of such tremendous fear regarding the return to school. Fear that we will go back, won’t go back, will go back part time, will make educators return, on and on and on….

Personally, it is so easy to be demoralized as an educator. In the Spring, educators were hailed as heroes worth million of dollars for educating kids. Now, they are perceived as whiners unwilling to return to work. The message has been sent at every level that educators are expendable. Schools place the blame squarely on the shoulders of educators for why they are moving to remote learning.

Some educators feel total frustration with trying to educate in a distance learning model. Some educators are terrified to be in person instruction. Some know that they will not be able to maintain the safety environment expected and that they will be held accountable for a system that is impossible to maintain without resources, support, and frankly, perfect children (which don’t exist).

We educators begin to wonder why I am doing this? Am I making any difference? Why do people refuse to treat me as a skilled professional deserving of respect for my expertise? Why are we expendable? What about my own family?

I was listening to the Michelle Obama podcast on Spotify (highly recommended) and I had an epiphany to my own fears that made me reframe my thinking and get ready to wade back into battle for myself, my family, my students, and the educational process as a whole. Here are the truths I discovered:

(1) YOU – educator, bus driver, assistant, cafeteria – you probably have been directly responsible for changing and possibly saving the life of a child. I often discount the impact I have made on the lives of my students. I brush off the compliments out of habit of downplaying myself. But, this impact is a gift! A gift that I need to marvel at for its wonder. Me…in all my messiness…has made a difference. You have made a difference and that matters.

(2) We not only have the right to speak up…we have the obligation to speak up for what is right. As a group, educators are capable of changing the conversation of return to school, safety measures, funding for schools, lessons we can learn from distance learning about what is broken in schools and what we want to see happen.

(3) Each of us has the power to decide what is true, what is right for ourselves. Being a teacher can often feel like we are on a hamster wheel running in circles with no change. We have choices…even when we don’t see them. Many teachers have left the profession rather than put their families at risk and are tutoring, moving into other fields, or allow themselves to put their focus back on their family. Whatever we choose, we have the RIGHT to choose it. Fears…financial, emotional, or peer pressure can make us feel like there is not a choice. But there is ALWAYS a choice we can make to be authentically true to ourselves if we just take a step forward out of fear.

As we enter this time in education that is wrought with fear…take a breath and remind yourself that YOU are powerful beyond measure. YOU are capable of anything you set your mind to. After all, you wrangle a group of 20, 30 kids into sitting still and learning on a regular basis. You’ve GOT this!

So – if you are not sure you have the courage to face your fear…here are some pretty inspirational stories of facing fear to get you motivated.

An educator advocates for a district to move to remote learning with a board unwilling to even listen to concerns. Her emotional response lights a fire for others – video at the bottom of notes from the chalkboard blog post. http://notesfromthechalkboard.com/2020/08/05/covid-fears-of-union-county-educators-fall-on-deaf-ears-at-board-meeting/

Inspirational Nike commercial – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WA4dDs0T7sM

Facing Fear video – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnrogLw6SOQ

Character Education, Distance Learning, Education, Self Care, Wellness

Angels among us

Kristine Barberio

In my lifetime, if ever there was a time that seemed hopeless, we are living in it. Pandemic, facing the ugly reality of systemic racism in our nation, economic crisis, corrupt leadership, people turning on other people over big and small issues, uncertainty for our children, ourselves, our future…these and the regular every day struggles we all face contribute to a time where hopelessness can run rampant. How do we look at a time like this and find hope that there can and will be something better?

I have realized recently through a string of “angel meetings” that we need to look for the angels among us and BECOME the angels among us.

You see, while this time we are in seems so dark, America and our world has faced darkness much greater than this before. We have seen the worst of humanity and risen from the ashes. In each of these dark times, HOPE comes through us…through angels known and unknown who provide the light. Elie Wiesel, Holocaust survivor, author, and leader, is an example of the power of angels. He describes in Night how people made a difference in his darkest hour and he found hope. Watch this video that speaks to light right now in our world. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keLT6bp7wok

Recently, I had someone who I have never met in person, advocate for me. This person went above and beyond to tell me that I had value and importance and he DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ME. I realized that he was an angel in my life…a bringer of hope…and he may never even know it.

On social media recently, a post was shared by a woman in deep despair over the state of our nation. She asked how she could keep hope up in the face of the tidal wave negativity, arguing, and lack of basic human values. I responded and in the course of answering, a story of my grandmother emerged surprising me with its lesson.

My grandmother, Grace, was the most remarkable human I have ever met. Kind, hilarious, smart, and someone who rose beyond her times with no explanation as to why. Born the daughter of a wealthy rice farmer on the bayous of Louisiana in turn of the century America, she was a product of a segregated and highly racist time. Over and over, Grace, defied this upbringing to reach out to others and treat each person as a child of God. In the early 1970’s, in rural Arkansas, Grace was the local Methodist minister’s wife. She discovered that a family from Vietnam, refugees of the war, had moved into their tiny town. They were not welcomed. Except by Grace…who in her country folk, no nonsense way, took them in as her “family” and did all she knew how to do to help them survive and thrive. Our family knows this story and Lam’s family knows this story…but this tale is not in any history book or known and YET…she was an angel for that family and an example for her own. The world was BETTER because of her actions and kindness.

This is the embodiment of hope in times of darkness. Can you imagine the fear and isolation this family felt fleeing their home in danger of death to land in a foreign world where they were not wanted? My grandmother must have seemed like a little bright spot of hope in the darkest night.

So now the question becomes, are you willing to be an angel for someone else?

Years ago, I became obsessed with an author, Robert Fulghum, who had written a bestseller called All I ever needed to know I learned in Kindergarten (which is still a phenomenal book and would be a powerful read in these times). In one of his other books, It was on fire when I lay down on it he wrote a story about the meaning of life that forever altered the course of my life. Here is an excerpt from http://hackingchristianity.net/2013/07/the-meaning-of-life.html

A story is told by Robert Fulghum, a Unitarian minister, about a seminar he once attended in Greece.

On the last day of the conference, the discussion leader walked over to the bright light of an open window and looked out. Then he asked if there were any questions.

Fulghum laughingly asked him what was the meaning of life. Everyone in attendance laughed and stirred to leave. However, the leader held up his hand to ask for silence and then responded “I will answer your question.”

He took his wallet out of his pocket and removed a small round mirror about the size of a quarter. Then he explained:

When I was a small child during World War II, we were very poor and we lived in a remote village. One day on the road, I found the broken pieces of a mirror. A German motorcycle had been wrecked in that place. I tried to find all the pieces and put them together, but it was not possible, so I kept the largest piece. This one. And by scratching it on a stone, I made it round.

I began to play with it as a toy and became fascinated by the fact that I could reflect light into dark places where the sun could never shine. It became a game for me to get light into the most inaccessible places that I could find. I kept the little mirror, and as I grew up, I would take it out at idle moments and continue the challenge of the game.

As I became a man, I grew to understand that this was not just a child’s game, but a metaphor of what I could do with my life. I came to understand that I am not the light or the source of the light. But light – be it truth or understanding or knowledge – is there, and it will only shine in many dark places if I reflect it.

I am a fragment of a mirror whose whole design and shape I do not know. Nevertheless, with what I have, I can reflect light into the dark places of this world – into the dark places of human hearts – and change some things in some people. Perhaps others seeing it happen will do likewise. This is what I am about. This is the meaning of my life.

Right now…we must reflect the light. We must do our part to reflect that light into the darkest corners of our world. So, I leave you with 3 thoughts:

1. Are your actions reflecting light and bringing hope?

2. Are you looking for the angels around you with the same focus as you look for the darkness?

3. Are you being an angel in your world?

All of us…all of us…need to make this time about spreading light. You’ve got a job to do…so strap on your wings.

Character Education, Self Care, Wellness

The price of goodness

Kristine Barberio

A friend of mine just tried acupuncture and it led to a group conversation about the practice. Acupuncture and eastern medicine is based on the concept of balance – balancing hot and cold, yin and yang, strong and weak. We discussed the science behind this concept and my friend said “Science is all about balance.” You know Newton’s law number….ummmm….anyways…for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

In these tumultuous times and in LIFE, there is always a result or consequence to our actions. This is a message I seek to teach my own children and my students while desperately trying to remember it for myself. You know, the whole do as I say not as I always do concept!

Sometimes is seems that in spite of our goal to put goodness into the world, evil/negativity/bad wins. It seems that our leaders, people without good intent, selfishness rules the day. That can be disheartening and demoralizing. It can lead us to want to give up and not pay the price of goodness. You see, goodness, doing what is right… costs us. How junky is that?

What is the cost of goodness? Well it depends on the act of goodness. We wear a mask in public – it can embarrass us, frustrate us, make us feel trapped, make us feel like we can’t breathe, or that we just don’t want to breathe our own stinky coffee breath. Not a huge price to pay particularly. Click here for more details on the importance of wearing masks. We can stand up to injustice – it can cost us friends, family, jobs, and more. A much heavier price to pay. On the flip side, not demonstrating goodness has a cost. We refuse to learn from somebody else’s perspective and stick to our own point of view – it can cause friendship/family loss, anger, resentment, and isolation. So – it can seem like there isn’t any way to win. Why is there a cost to goodness that can be equivalent to the cost of not doing what is kind, admirable, loving, selfless, thoughtful, or noble?

Why? Because everything in nature, science, faith – seeks balance. Newton was right…for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. But Newton didn’t take that concept far enough with this one principle. You see each time there is an action – it MOVES the opposite and equal reaction somewhere. If I am moving a rock up a mountain – every time I push…gravity pushes back. But as I keep PUSHING – I inch my way up the mountain…defeating gravity ultimately by reaching the top.

Goodness is like this – there is always a force pushing against our attempts at goodness in the world. Those forces can wear us down if we do not acknowledge the cost, accept the cost, and continue to promote goodness IN SPITE OF THE COST. The only way you get to the top of the mountain, is by continuing uphill AGAINST the pull. Against the cost…

So, what does this have to do with educators? With us as people? Well – I think it comes down to the willingness to pay the price of goodness to move ourselves, our students, our families, and our world forward. Educators have this pivotal role in teaching children, tomorrow’s leaders, about the COST of goodness. It is naive to think telling a child “Be good!” solves the problems in their world. Well – what happens when I am nice to the unpopular kid and then I become unpopular (cost)? What happens when I tell the truth about doing the wrong thing and get a consequence for that (cost)? What happens when I give it 100% and still fail the test (cost)?

We must educate our youth on the price of goodness so that they might be willing to PAY THE COST. That they might have the will, the desire, the motivation, the perseverance, to KEEP GOING in the face of adversity based on their innate desire to do good in the world. Some kids enter our rooms already defeated by the harsh worlds they live in and we have to teach them goodness is worth the price. Some kids enter our rooms unsure of what it looks like to find their innate goodness and we must educate them on the cost and rewards of living up to their goodness potential. Some kids enter our rooms aware of the cost and ready, willing, and able to pay it and we must foster a community that celebrates that spirit.

The only way we can do that is by choosing to inject goodness into every action small and large in our world. To make goodness our guiding principle in every action we take. To use goodness to counteract or fix our own human flaws and foibles. To wield goodness as the weapon that can help move us to a better place.

Here are some guiding principles that may help us on our journey:

  1. Seek to understand and to learn.
  2. Think of others before ourselves.
  3. Be resilient and courageous.
  4. Use your words intentionally and thoughtfully.
  5. Stay curious.

I get so tired of paying the price for the times I purposefully seek to do what is right. It hurts, wears me down, and makes me want to stop. I get it…that price…too high at times. I am reminding myself and all of us as educators, parents, teachers, and members of the human family to find a little more change in your pockets to pay the price of goodness. Because ultimately, the reward is looking out from the top of the mountain at the beauty we have helped create with our efforts.

written with contribution from Alexandra Keilen, @aktechteacher

Books, Character Education, Creating a Community, Distance Learning, Education, Leadership, Reading, Self Care, Teamwork, Wellness

I don’t know what to say…

Kristine Barberio

Anybody who knows me personally, knows this is an extremely rare phrase to come out of my mouth. Generally, I always know what to say, or think I do, or just say something regardless… I am a talker!

Right now though, I find myself not knowing what to say. I don’t know what to say to my own children, my family, my students, my friends and co-workers, my friends on social media, and to myself. We are in such unprecedented times. Right now – we are experiencing a global health pandemic on a scale I have never seen in my lifetime. Right now – America is the most divided, bitter, and angry nation I have ever known. Right now – the legacy of racism in America continues to rear its ugly head forcing all of us to determine what we will do to change this crisis. Right now – we see corruption, dishonesty, and plain unkindness as the norm…just another day at the office.

I don’t know what to say in response to all of this. So, I try to share my thoughts with meaningful social media posts that focus on spreading honesty and goodness. I try to teach my children and my students the value of each and every human being regardless of color, creed, background, or any other unique attribute. I try to live a life where my actions match my faith and values. But…sometimes it all seems woefully inadequate, like I am a tiny pebble in a giant pond.

Then, I remember… I AM a tiny pebble in a giant pond. That is what I need to say… Let me explain.

One of my favorite read aloud books is Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson. The book is about how every thing we do creates ripples out into the world. Unkindness, denial, participation in the bitterness they spread like ripples in a pond. But kindness, love, care, empathy, courage, and hope spread too. Here is a video of the book: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlNgYno4W14

At the start of every year, I read this book to my class and we discuss the way we treat each other. They are always horrified that the story doesn’t have a happy ending…that it doesn’t end well. I explain that too often, our unkindness, simply can’t be taken back. Words said cannot be unsaid. Mean actions cannot be taken back. But, we can learn from them…we can do better.

So, here is what I want to say that I hope will ripple out into the world. Our actions matter. We are part of a global community of humans. We are part of a fabric woven together and our responsibility is to each other.

As educators, we have a pivotal role in dropping little pebbles and trying to get our students to keep spreading the ripples. Whether we are in distance learning, in a classroom, or some other version of school we are unable to imagine right now, we have to spread what is good. So focus your teaching beyond your subject onto these things:

  • Being good human beings.
  • Creating curious and open minded students of life
  • Fostering a sense of Ubuntu (I am because you are).
  • Teaching history – where we have come from, the mistakes that have been made, and the lessons that can be learned.
  • Your role in your family, community, nation, and world – they must be active participants in making the world better.
  • The values of disagreeing and challenging each other with RESPECT while continuing to learn from each other.

So, in these times that seem overwhelming, and you just don’t know what to say that could make any of it better… remember the ripple you can make by your actions both positive and negative. I wish I had better words to say to people about these horrible situations we find our nation in. I wish I knew the right thing to say, but I don’t. So, I am going to focus on saying things and THINKing. This poster is in many classrooms, but really needs to be said right now in today’s world. Before I speak… is what I am saying true, helpful, inspiring, necessary, and kind. If we all THINK – we will send out some pretty powerful ripples. That is the best thing we can say when we don’t know what to say.

Character Education, Distance Learning, Education, Self Care, Teamwork, Wellness

The Kindness Battle

Kristine Barberio

I just keep hearing a voice inside my head saying “It’s all about the kindness.” Now, this may be a sign I’ve been in quarantine too long since I am hearing voices! OR, it may be the voice of something higher than me reminding me there is a battle happening right now and kindness is the weapon. That is an odd way to refer to kindness, as a weapon. It is the antithesis of the very meaning of the word. Let me explain.

On the news right now we are bombarded by images and sounds of really unkind and frankly, scary people in leadership, in our communities, in our world.

Americans turning on each other because one man fans the flames of hate and discord hiding behind a mask of righteousness while serving only himself.

On social media, it is too easy to participate in the behind the screen bravery that allows us to be unkind.

With our education leaders, administrators, parents, co-workers, and even students, we are hearing negative, critical voices saying that what we are doing is not enough, not correct, can’t continue, not effective.

Within our own families and the families of our students, we know there is negativity that comes from the endless cycle of “togetherness” where siblings, couples, parents are all tired of each other.

It is simply too easy to be unkind and to allow the unkindness to cover us like a dark blanket.

Then…I see tiny points of light..of kindness poking through.

The greatest basketball player in the world weeping when shown an image of his teammates saying he was not kind, although effective. Kindness made a difference and broke the heart of a champion. https://twitter.com/i/status/1259664534471614466

A bored actor creates a simple, homemade fake news program to highlight Some Good News, and it becomes an international symbol of all that is right in the world. https://www.facebook.com/SomeGoodNewsSGN/

A child writes a letter to a teacher years down the road and says I am here..graduating…because of you. Thank you.

A dad builds his daughter a graduation stage, or takes her to prom, or to the daddy/daughter dance. https://abcn.ws/2Tje6ip

A mom dances a tiktok with her teenage son, or allows her kids to cover her in makeup, or laughs hysterically at the absurdity of life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygdB-ZE0daY

When we look for them, the images of kindness battling darkness are literally everywhere. When we add to the light, as a community of HUMANS, the light ALWAYS WINS.

As an educator, I have one fundamental task. To prepare the children in front of me to become the leaders, thinkers, innovators, and workers of the future.

Whether I am behind a computer screen, face to face, or in some other, not yet thought of way, in my role as a teacher, I MUST teach my students to wield kindness as a weapon.

I must model kindness as a weapon in the way I treat my family, my co-workers, my administrators, the parents, my community, and my world.

I must face each daunting what if of this time with the answer of “What if…I offer kindness in response?”

I don’t know about you, but wielding kindness as a weapon is exhausting.

My administrators don’t value me….respond with kindness.

A parent bashes me…respond with kindness.

A student mistreats me or his peers…respond with kindness.

A person on social media rants against me…respond with kindness.

I don’t know whether to wear a mask or return to work or stay home…respond with kindness.

I am scared for my future and want to fight for only myself and my family…respond with kindness.

Can you see how challenging kindness as a weapon is? Can you see the cost it takes to put away our fear, resentment, greed, guilt, anger, and hatred to find a way to make kindness my weapon in every moment and in every situation?

So – I call upon us, the educators, to step into the light and be the leaders. If we are to have a role in changing the world from the darkness, negativity, and anger…it will literally depend on us teaching OUR STUDENTS, so that they can teach others…Kindness is your weapon. Now – go and use it!

Here are some resources on kindness if you need a boost on where, how, or why to begin. Let’s start a kindness revolution!

Creating a Community, Distance Learning, Education, Intervention, Self Care, Wellness

Just for Today

Kristine Barberio

I had a really bad couple of days and hit the wall yesterday. Being a teacher, parent, wife, daughter, person..is sometimes just hard. Now, more than ever in this new world of distance learning, it can feel utterly overwhelming. But, after several important things happened, I woke up today ready to start again. I have often described myself as one of those old time punching bags (the blow up kind with the weight in the bottom). You can knock me down, but I will always get back up. This is called RESILIENCE. Resilience has been studied by many people and consistently is found as the game changer for children living in trauma. Resilience can be an innate quality (that survivor instinct) or developed with the support of at least one loving adult. This skill is the most essential one in many settings. Here is a great article from heysigmund.com https://www.heysigmund.com/building-resilience-children/

In times of trauma, overcoming childhood challenges and difficulty, struggles as an educator in a system and with leaders who do not value you, and in a time like this; resilience is a required quality. It is especially needed in this time of global trauma where humans are not always showing their best qualities, particularly here in our divided nation.

Before distance learning, I always felt the hardest months for a teacher were December and May. May is living up to its reputation. I think that administrators are stressed trying to keep things moving forward when they don’t know how. Teachers and support staff are worried about what is next and how to make it work. Parents and Students are trying to come to terms with what an end of a school year looks like without the traditions, events, classroom clean up, and parties. There is a lot to knock us down and our resilience is what matters most. There are two things that have recently been shared on my social media, that to me are the essence of resilience. I have put one at the top and one at the bottom. The basic concept is simple the “Just keep swimming” motto of Dory or the “Put one foot in front of the other” line of the song. Resilience happens in that magical moment when you just can’t keep going on. It is too much. Then, you find the strength to stand back up and take one step. We watched “The Princess Bride” that is now on Disney+ and is one of the best movies ever made (I will take no arguments on this!) This moment is embodied in this scene: https://youtu.be/I73sP93-0xA

Here we are and now more than ever we need to find our own resilience, help each other find resilience, and as educators and parents face the monumental task of providing our children with one loving adult that can be the voice that tells them to just keep swimming. So, once again, how do we find and support resilience?

  1. Be kind – I keep saying it, but kindness is like a magical cure all. Check out this video on the science of kindness. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOy_FRMprfo
  2. Foster friendships and relationships – Loneliness and isolation are the ultimate destruction of our resilience. My friends and family stepped into the gap during my recent bad days and whispered in my ear “you got this”. We need to all provide each other in big and small ways with that voice that encourages resilience. With our students, we need to be SO intentional in reaching out to our most vulnerable and providing a rock for them to cling to. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXAg5XdK8ac&list=PLvzOwE5lWqhQWsPsW5PQQ5gj5OBewwgUw&index=5
  3. Allow yourself to wallow – My country grandmother used to say “Sometimes, you just need a good wallow.” Now – for you non-country folks – wallowing is what pigs do in the mud. Just roll around in it and let it cover them in the mess. We MUST acknowledge our fears, pain, sadnesses, and negative feelings in order to release them. This can involve crying, journaling, eating brownies…whatever lets you FEEL the negative so you can let it go. So, occasionally, when it all gets to much, have a good wallow…then pick yourself back up.
  4. The 5 year rule – My mom often says to me “Will this still matter to you in 5 years?” Taking problems that seem to be mountains and deciding if they really are mountains or just little hills that I can get over, fosters resilience. MOST things…end up being hills (or sometimes nothing at all – just my imagined mountains)…so in 5 years, if this will not make a difference in my life, release it and move forward.
  5. Serve others – At the end of the day, there is no greater way to spark your own resilience than by lending a hand to another. Stepping outside of our own struggles and helping another can remind us of all we have to be grateful for.

So – read the prayer at the top out loud to yourself daily. Follow the steps on the quote at the bottom and foster resilience in yourself, your friends and family, and your students.

Distance Learning, Education, Self Care, Wellness

One Big Rock

Kristine Barberio

Now that most states in the U.S. have moved to distance learning for the remainder of the school year, there is a weariness that has settled in for all involved. I noticed it in my own children, my students, and myself. The initial rush of newness and excitement is gone, replaced by the drudgery of this new system. I feel a little like the stage of friendship after camp. You leave camp ready to be friends forever. The first months are full of letters, texts, emails, and I miss you moments. As time goes on, things begin to fade away, memories become hazy, and the best of intentions do not always keep you connected the way face to face time did.

I found myself really going inward this past week and trying to determine what should this world look like for me as a parent, as an educator, for my children, and for my students. I spent a few days “shut off” and not really doing much except thinking. (okay – in this house with 2 dogs, 1 cat, 1 hamster, 2 teenage boys, one 8 year old girl, 1 husband, my parents and in-laws, 40 students, my friends…I was as shut off as I could manage.) During this time of reflection and soul searching, I saw this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqGRnlXplx0 Suddenly, it clicked that right now HAS to be about the big rocks. Big Rocks are the metaphor for the most important components of our lives. The ones that our energy, attention, and care should be directed towards. The pebbles, the sand, and even the Cerveza’s of this metaphor MUST fade away to an extent during this time of unprecedented crisis and trauma. The shock I found as I sat down to reflect on what the big rocks were for me is that, right now, there is only ONE big rock as an educator, mother, wife, daughter, and friend. Just one big rock that DEMANDS our attention – here is how I am facing this rock.

THE ONE BIG ROCK – Health – Physical, Mental, and Spiritual Health of myself, my family, my friends, AND my students has to be the first priority.

It is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in living color.

If we are not physiologically safe and feel emotionally secure – learning and teaching will NOT happen regardless of efforts. So – what are you doing to ensure this health and well being?

  1. Take care of your physiological needs – Financial needs, food, shelter, health needs, etc. have to be addressed. You will not be able to help anyone else before you ensure that you have that bottom layer of Maslow’s hierarchy met for yourself. So – take the time to file paperwork, order food, pay your bills, do a medical visit virtually with your doctor, keep your prescriptions refilled, etc.
  2. Building in time to ensure your own well being. Recent discussion among mental health professionals is that this time will be an ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) for all of our kids to some extent. It is the same for us as adults. This IS, by its nature, a traumatic event. You must take care of yourself with nature, exercise, diet, meditation/prayer, joy and fun filled activities, spending time electronically or in person with those you love who support you, and giving yourself TIME!
  3. Be aware of your own children and family and put their needs ABOVE your students! I realized that so much of my early attention was put towards my students, particularly those most as risk. My own children NEED a present, loving parent to help them through these challenging times – THE WAY OUR STUDENTS NEED ONE. I am putting on my “teacher” hat with my own children, my “co-worker” hat with my husband, my parents and in-laws to find ways to listen and look for how their emotional needs are being met just like I do at school.
  4. Cognitive Re-framing – this big fancy phrase means changing your thinking. It is so important right now to reflect on what IS good, what IS right, what IS possible vs. staying in the negative. One week, I watched a little too much of the news and briefings and read too much on twitter for a few days until my husband and friend intervened and said ENOUGH. There is a fine line between being educated and informed and stressing yourself out. So – every day, choose explicitly to focus on gratitude, positive aspects of this terrible time, and ways you can solve problems. I like to keep my energy on WHAT I CAN DO NOT WHAT I CAN’T!
  5. Nearpod – Nearpod is my favorite educator tool particularly for distance learning. Set up a free account TODAY! You can have a zoom AND get feedback from all of your students. They have an entire set of FREE nearpods focusing on SEL for all age levels tied to Covid 19. Here is one I just did with my students that I thought was a great discussion starter. https://share.nearpod.com/lHAm7NQD15
  6. Weekly Reflections – This tool, that I have always used, is ideal in distance learning because every week, I can get feedback from my students on what is happening for them and how I can support. This information has become even more critical in distance learning. https://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/Weekly-Reflection-4750316
  7. Thinking Creatively for the hardest to reach – We all have students who are really struggling during this time. Start to look for ways to keep connection. Individual or small group zoom sessions, phone sessions, using google classroom or microsoft teams “chat” features to send private messages, notes or letters sent to their mailbox, using volunteers to help tutor or connect, a “care” package of school supplies and materials delivered to their doorstep, using a simple video app like flipgrid to send messages back and forth (You can set up a flipgrid code for you and one student. Videos can be left there by both you and the student. Any device (even a cellphone) that has a way to connect to the internet can have the student press one button to send/receive a video.) Think about the tools that the student has access to that you can use to make connection.

The biggest shock of this time for me is realizing how essential the ONE BIG ROCK is. We want to make sure students are learning, our families are happy, we keep up some semblance of “normal”, we get some big projects done at home, and so many other things that we think are important. The reality is right now, in this time of trauma, we have just one big rock that requires our undivided attention – keeping ourselves, our families, our students, and our world healthy and safe. Everything else will happen in the best way it can given the circumstances if we make this our priority. So, give yourself permission to put your energy to this one big rock and stop worrying about the pebbles and sand. You might even find you have a little time left for a beer!

Creating a Community, Distance Learning, Education, Recipes, Self Care, Wellness

Spring Break STAYcation!

Kristine Barberio

As educators AND parents, we are well aware of how Spring Break seems to be so exciting for everyone.  However, in these unprecedented times, we have cancelled trips, lots of down time, and LOTS of family time affecting Spring Break 2020.  So – join in the 2020 Spring Break STAYCATION plan! 7 days of fun to look forward to – do all of it, some of it, or none of it! Just know – we can make this FUN! 

Day 1 – Virtual Easter Block Party – Today, gather rocks of all sizes and paint.  Paint rocks to look like Easter Eggs. Notify your neighborhood via text, email, or an app like NextDoor of the plan.  Every family places one Easter Egg for each member of the family around the neighborhood on a walk. Families can seek out as many Easter Egg rocks as possible and take pictures of them.  You can share these on the app, social media, or via text/email. Check out a fun “EGG” menu for the day: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1K30CXd1UGj8pbi_OBx8KeOO_BXRsm3A7chzSWFvfEgY/edit?usp=sharing

Supplies Needed – Rocks, paint, paintbrushes, water, smocks/old shirts, newspaper to paint on, device that takes pictures.  Some neighborhoods are decorating large paper eggs as an alternative. Each family decorates 1-2 eggs with crayons/markers, then displays them on their house to be found and counted. You can make some fancy paper Easter Eggs using this resource: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Xel6JHxpBalJLEkK-DaU_7dtRNsvg4eo/view

Day 2 – Camp Out and Stargazing- Plan a family camping adventure.  Several ways to do this:

Option 1 – Pitch your tent in the backyard, get a fire pit going (here is a safe way to create one https://achievingadventure.com/blogs/2017/11/06/building-fire-no-injuries/), Get out the flashlights, sleeping bags, lanterns, bug spray, etc.  Set up some chairs, roast some marshmallows, sing songs, play games (cornhole, checkers, horseshoes, bocce ball, etc.) and enjoy the night sky.  Use a telescope if you have one or an app on your phone to help you find constellations. (https://www.hongkiat.com/blog/stargazing-apps/   ) Check out the menu you can use: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1K30CXd1UGj8pbi_OBx8KeOO_BXRsm3A7chzSWFvfEgY/edit?usp=sharing

Option 2 – Pitch your tent or make a fort in your living room.  Watch this great stargazing video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-hAc3n5ROw or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UU61eAUzxE , this sing along camp songs video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_BMzqwSdW8&list=PLzbFVd2WNPybpfMKM1d9t3wUuWik_V79D , make toaster s’mores https://www.myfoodandfamily.com/recipe/125674/smores-your-way , and eat on a blanket on the floor picnic style. 

Day 3- Community Service Day – Today, focus on how you can help other people.  Take sidewalk chalk on your daily walk and write inspirational messages for neighbors, create a happy, fun video and share it with family/friends/neighbors who might be alone and lonely, or find a way to virtually support an organization.  Here is a list of great ideas:

  1. Create thank you letters to essential workers in your area. Don’t forget the grocery store workers who are on the front lines!
  2. Create masks for others and donate.
  3. Create a fun obstacle course for neighborhood kids on the sidewalk or street for families to enjoy: Option 1 and Option 2 
  4. Create a Kindness Poster and post on Social Media and in your neighborhood: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Tr3KV6UW2iff-UyA6bBaUqFnjhQungxD/view

Here are even more great ideas- https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/living/story/virtual-volunteering-ways-volunteer-home-time-coronavirus-69741410 and https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/news/video/ways-virtual-volunteer-fight-covid-19-69747040 

Day 4 – Creativity Lab Day – Ask every member of your family to take a set amount of time (we suggest a minimum of 2 hours).  They must separate to a room in the house or place in the house BY THEMSELVES. If you have young children, plan this during nap time to allow for older family members to participate.  Every person must create something that they will share with the rest of the family. It can be music, art, dance, STEM activities, Legos, Maker’s Space type items, or basically anything you can think of.  Here are some websites with inspiration: http://www.arvindguptatoys.com/toys.html  and  https://www.brilliantlabs.ca/makerfun There are 2 goals to this day – ONE…give everybody some alone time.  TWO…allow for creativity. At the end, you have a great opportunity to share your creations.  Take pictures and/or videos and share them with family and friends to share in the joy OR have family in different houses all do the creativity lab simultaneously.  Then, you can video chat and share the projects across houses (a great way to include older family members). 

Day 5 – Specials / Field Day – Most public schools have students take “special area” classes.  These include Music, P.E., Art, STEAM, Technology, Language classes, Band, or Drama. Many public schools have sent out information from these special area teachers that you can use throughout the day.  Create a schedule and have everybody rotate through activities! Here are 2 great sources of activities for different Specials Area Classes: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Q6XX0ehjq72C-aiOq49Yn1hqNdxBvDBhVyf-iIpoHxM/edit?usp=sharing

or https://drive.google.com/file/d/1gWI6At1txRa_A6YBxFoA-2aVpB5dJCdv/view?usp=sharing

For a variation try At-Home Field Day Ideas: https://www.ptotoday.com/pto-today-articles/article/8129-11-favorite-field-day-games

or here are some “Field Day” Digital Breakouts: 

1) https://platform.breakoutedu.com/game/play/field-day-funnanigans-136

2) https://platform.breakoutedu.com/game/play/field-day-fun-78

Day 6 – Scavenger Hunt Day – Make up your own scavenger hunt or use one of these various ideas and make a day full of scavenger hunts.  You can offer prizes like candy, money, or other small items to make the competition fun! You could include family members and friends with video chatting.  You could make videos of the scavenger hunt or take photos of each item found.  https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/g32050844/scavenger-hunt-ideas-for-kids/ or https://lezgetreal.com/scavenger-hunt-ideas/

If you want some digital versions to challenge your brain, try some Digital Escape Rooms like this Mindfulness and Gratitude Free Digital Breakout: https://platform.breakoutedu.com/game/play/mindfulness-344039

Day 7 – Hawaiian Water Vacation – It’s time to rest up!  Head to Hawaii and bust out the water toys. Here are Hawaiian crafts https://www.artistshelpingchildren.org/hawaiincraftsideasactivitieskids.html, games https://www.thespruce.com/kids-hawaiian-luau-party-games-2104661, decorations https://hoosierhomemade.com/luau-party-ideas/ , music https://www.polynesia.com/what-to-play, and food https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1K30CXd1UGj8pbi_OBx8KeOO_BXRsm3A7chzSWFvfEgY/edit?usp=sharing you can do.  Bring out the sprinkler, pool, splash pad, sponges and buckets, hose, water balloons, whatever you can find to splash around.  Set up an outdoor relaxing water play time complete with any Hawaiian components from above! Relax and enjoy the sunshine! 

We hope these ideas have helped you plan the ultimate fun filled STAYCATION!  We know that it can be hard to stay at home without the routine of distance learning, so find a way to make this Spring Break memorable right from your living room!  We hope you will share your videos and pictures on Whatever is Admirable as we post our events each day!

co-written by Alexandria Keilen @aktechteacher